Greetings Kind Reader. Yes, here I am...another day, another post. I know! I think it's pretty darn awesome myself. But heck, I figure if I can find 15-20 minutes of 'Me' time, I just might be able to get back into my regular posting groove.
Let me cut straight to the chase folks (Yes, I know, two days in a row - perhaps I'm loosing my rambling touch....ummm...nah! I'm just tired and want to get this online before it's tomorrow and I lose the right to say that I posted 3 days running!
Now, as for the title of this blog post. If you've read my post or my little biography in the sidebar, you know that I currently live in Texas. In Austin (Now, I'm not going to tell you where exactly because unless you know your way around FM and RM roads, you'd just get lost faster than a three year old in a Walmart! So, I'll just say Austin which covers a LOT of land...after all, EVERYTHING is bigger in Texas! Lord, one day, I kid you not, I drove for over an hour and a half to get from one side of a county to another.
Now where was I? Oh, yes. The heat in Central Texas. It's...well, it's hotter than ought to be legal! And it's
SO dry, too. We're in a drought and have been for quite a while. Now, this isn't one of those little 'let's try to conserve our water so our lakes will stay full and beautiful' sorts of droughts. No, this is a 'You WILL conserve water otherwise our ginormous lake will go dry' sorts of droughts.
I live near the lake and even though it has beautiful blue water in it...it is LOW...LOW...LOW. Tracts of land that, years ago, were covered with 20-30 feet of water, now have vegetation growing on them. And not just a little green grass. Lord, no! I'm talking big ol' shrubs and ground that is dry enough you can stop your little personal watercraft right up on the edge of the once water soaked area, and lay out in the sun like it's a beach!
Of course, people don't really 'lay out in the sun' here. It's pretty damn stupid to do that considering the UV index in the summer is usually around 10-12 (for those of you who aren't in the know...that's sort of like having a sunbeam reach down to give you a deep tissue massage) so without any sun protection on your skin you can wind up with a massive sunburn in about 8 minutes flat. Think I'm kidding?
Well, you just hop on the next flight to Austin's ABIA airport that arrives around 2PM. And when you step out of the airport, go to the top floor of the parking deck and take off all your clothes and stand there for about 8 minutes...then you'll know I'm not lying!
Oh, and that 'it's hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk thing'...yeah, every year - local officials put out requests...honest to gosh, serious as all get out requests for people to NOT TRY TO FRY AN EGG ON THE SIDEWALK! It's so gross. But it never fails, some moron always does it at least once. And yes, it'll
'fry' so to say...just not like it's in a frying pan. Nope it'll slow cook and get all icky and smelly and attract all sorts of little critters that like to bite and eat tasty fleshy things like...our feet!
So trust me when I say...it's 'hot' here. But the crazy thing about where I live is that according to the weather folks there are degrees of 'hotness'. No joke.
Now if you're from anywhere other than perhaps Texas, New Mexico, and Arizona...when the weather folks say, "It's going to be pretty warm today" you probably think they're talking about highs in the 80s (umm...near ~28 ifn Celcius). You'd be wrong. No. Around here a 'pretty warm day' is one with highs reaching about 95ºF. That's warm. (And believe it or not, after living here a while, you really do start to think of it as a 'not so bad' temperature)
The next level is 'toasty hot' which is around 98ºF somewhere near 37ºC (apparently those 3 degrees REALLY make a difference...I guess it's because your body is essentially the exact same temperature outside as it is inside when you hit that mark).
And then they like to talk about the 'heat index'...for those of you in the 'cold states' where the weather never get burnt in! And I want to shout, 'Damn it! If it feels like it's 102ºF then just say it's 102ºF!' But no, they don't.
people say "It's going to be a 'chilly 42ºF but when the wind blows it'll feel like 36ºF" just imagine that - but in reverse. Now, I don't know about you...but when it's cold, I can find me some thermal underwear, put on a coat and get myself nice and warm so I can wander around outside. But dang it...when they say "it's going to be a 'toasty' 98ºF but with the heat index it'll feel like 102ºF" I cannot strip down to the suit God gave me and wander around. Not because it would be against the law but I'd get burnt in places one ought
It's like they're toying with us. Perhaps they think that if we know that technically it's only 98ºF then somehow we'll magically feel cooloer. Well, folks, that's just pure-T stupid!
It isn't. For God's sake man/woman...AMS certified genius...when it's 100ºF (38ºC) it's just damn hot. Don't try to sugar coat it for Pete's sake! Lord, do you really think we're THAT stupid.
UGH! I just realized, it's now 'tomorrow' so I technically missed my '3 days in a row' posting assertion! I'm tired and Lord, help me, for the next 10 days (yes 10 days...probably longer but my weather thingy only tells me 10 days in advance) the temperature is going to be IN THE 100's...heck on Thursday, the high is supposed to be 105ºF...which means it'll probably feel like...110ºF (which technically is considered 'winter' in Hell!)
Right now, at 12:20ish Central Standard Time it's 89ºF, it'll get down to about 80ºF if we're lucky and then when the big ol' ball of flames in the sky makes itself known again in these parts, the mercury will start climbing!
Thank the Lord I've got me a 2 gallon container filled with sweet tea, a freezer stocked with ice, an air conditioner, and 11 electric fans!
(And my daughter wants us to go to Sea World in San Antonio on Wednesday as 'one last fun thing' before school starts back up! It's even farther south than Austin...Holy Cow!')
And that's all I've got...til next time!